Three years on...

I can’t quite believe that it’s been three years without my brother and I can’t really say how this time has gone. I can still barely believe he’s not around, but the space gets harder to ignore.  And with that comes the ability to learn to live with it, I suppose.

Anyway, it has been bugging me that another year is rolling round and I haven’t completed my challenge. Once I got thinking, I realised, I probably have… with a little extra push this week I’ve made it all the way to… 51. So so close…

Go to Japan: crazy, crazy place, and I loved every minute of it. And of course, it brought with it some more firsts that could only happen in Japan…

Akihabara in Tokyo... crazy, crazy place

Visit a Maid Café: awkward… but an experience (if you don't know what a maid cafe is, Wikipedia has some answers for you). 

A (more than) quarterly update…

Four months, a third of a year, much too long to leave a blog un-updated…

During that time, the second anniversary of my brother’s death has come and gone, and with it the deadline to complete my 52 Firsts. It become quite apparent, as July 12 edged closer, that I was not going to fit everything in. But it didn’t bother me too much, I thought I would just carry on going until I got to 52, no matter how long it took me.

On the 14 July 2013, I ran my 10k. Well, I ran most of it and walked a few 100m. The weather was blazing hot and my knee started twinging somewhere just after the 5k mark but I still managed to complete it in the respectable time of 1 hour, 2 mins and 38 secs. Not quite within the hour I had wanted but still not bad for a first attempt.

After it was all over, I felt a massive amount of relief and pride. But then this soon gave way to a feeling of emptiness. It took quite a few weeks of reflection for me to actually pick myself up again and start living life with a positive focus, rather than just seeing the depressing side to everything.

But I am well and truly there now. Life is a positive experience and there is so much you can take from just living your day to day life. 

So that is probably the biggest thing that has happened to me in the last few months. But here is an update on what else has been going on…

Me with my medal after completeing the 10k

I was the third highest fundraiser for CALM in the London 10k – I cannot say thank you enough to everybody that sponsored me and supported me (it was amazing to have my family there cheering me on). And, despite raising over £1000 for CALM, I was still surprised when I got a letter personally thanking me for my efforts, along with a voucher for cocktails for me and five friends as a thank you. I think I can safely cross the ‘Do something big…’ first off of my list.

Thank you all for the sponsorship!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and sponsored me so far for my run... just a few days left now. I'm very excited about it! It's part of what is keeping me going through the next day, which is going to be a difficult one, as the second anniversary since my brother's death. 

I've had a really good response to this story on the Ipswich Star website. So thank you to everybody for that too. 

For anybody who needs a little bit more convincing about the pain I'm going through training for this, here's a little peek at the bruise I got from the physio last week.

I am a little bit proud of this bruise. 

An Explosion of Firsts... A Poem

I know it has been a while since I last updated this blog. And even longer since I last updated my list of Firsts. But in the last few weeks, there has been a 'First explosion' in my life that I thought I would share with you… in poetry form.

Here goes…

Writer's Block...

Well it’s been a while.

I’ve been finding it tough to keep motivated with the blog recently and I’ve been wondering why. There have been times where I could have sat down and penned an entry but I have just not felt up to it. Plus, I’ve got out of the habit of actually doing the Firsts.

Writer's Block?
By Pi Guy 31415 via Wiki Commons

There are a few reasons why I think I’ve been more reluctant to write...

Try a Regional Delicacy...

For this First, I went all out on a trip to Scotland. I shall let the pictures do the talking...

Haggis. Technically not a first, but definitely not
something you eat outside of Scotland...

Loved the Islay Single Malt Scotch. Despite being told repeatedly
how 'unusual' it was for a lady to choose the smokey ones...

Cranachan. A proper dessert. 

Deep Fried Mars Bar. Yes, this picture
does a lot of talking...

JustGiving Page Up and Running!

My JustGiving Page for my London 10k run is now ready to roll! 

To sponsor me, please visit www.justgiving.com/EmmaDavis10kRun or text EMDA52 + amount in pounds you want to donate to 70700 (eg. EMADA52 £5).

I'm very passionate about supporting CALM. They are a national, who run a helpline and website to offer immediate assistance to men who are down or facing a crisis. They also work to challenge the culture that prevents men from seeking help when they need it and to challenge stereotypes that prevent men from talking about the issues they face. To find out more about CALM and the work they do, visit their website. 

My target of £500 would help to run the phone line for just one day. One day that could make a massive difference to many, many people’s lives. As I have witnessed, it is not just the lives of these young men that CALM is helping to save, but also the devastation and heartache of every person that knows and loves them.

Go on. You know you'll forget to do it later, so click through now to sponsor me.

Last year's 10k runners for CALM.
Looking forward to getting my snazzy vest!

Random Acts of Kindness

I’m fully aware that ‘Random Act of Kindness’ sounds like a phrase that can only be pronounced with a cheesy American accent (for any readers from the States, this is not a bad thing, just an acknowledgement that in general, Americans appear far less cynical than us Brits when it comes to self improvement). But I like the idea of it. And I warn you before you read any further that I am going to wholly subscribe to the concept of it, without apologising, for the rest of this blog post. 

So, what is a random act of kindess? Wikipedia describes it as… 

a selfless act performed by a person or people wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual person or people. The phrase may have been coined by Anne Herbert, who says that she wrote "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" on a place mat at a Sausalito restaurant in 1982 or 1983.[1][2]

So far, so open to whatever I want it to be.

My idea to have ‘Perform a Random Act of Kindness’ as one of my Firsts in the Hat was inspired by people like this and this, who go out of their way to do amazing things for others in return for what appears to be very little (aside from the giant ego boost of being a generous person).

A Quick Catch-Up....Exciting Times Ahead!

So much for my new year's resolution to regularly update my blog. I have been doing firsts, including some random acts of kindness and eating Scottish delicacies. But there's an upcoming first that I'm quite excited about. I've just been accepted to run this...

The British 10k London Run

...in July, to raise money for this...

CALM

Exciting stuff. And  I never thought I'd use that phrase to describe physical excersise. More details to follow, including how to sponsor me (yes please), but just wanted to share the news. 

Taboo... Why Aren't We Talking About Suicide?

I’ve been thinking about suicide as a taboo subject recently and I’ve been inspired to write some of my thoughts down because, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I need to write it! And what better day to do so, than the day that it comes to light that the number of suicides rose sharply last year?

Ok, I admit, the game Taboo is fun, but now let's get serious...

A Couple of Dietry Firsts...

My poor digestive system did not know what hit it this week, as I completed not just one, but two firsts.

By Rootology Via WikiCommons

My New Year's Resolution....Update My Blog

In the spirit of New Year, I have been reflecting on my blog (and my inability to update it regularly). I think the posts I write are much better when they are more focused and less like a long account of all the frists I’ve fitted in during the ridiculous amount of time I have left it since I last updated…. But here’s a nice long and waffly update for you anyway on all the firsts I’ve fitted in since December…

Knit Something

George modelling the Mo

The one phrase that keeps begging to be written is this: Knitting is hard! Teaching myself to knit was much more difficult that I expected.  Being the kind of person that I am, the less practically-gifted, more ‘I like reading about stuff’ kind of person, I thought the two brief ebooks I downloaded would be enough to get me on my way. It turns out you actually can’t learn practical skills like that. Who knew? It takes patience and practise. And a few instructional Youtube videos to give you a visual example of how your hands should move...

So, I did practise and I did try and stay patient. And, despite numerous failed attempts which, as I did not know how to correct mistakes, meant I had to start from scratch, I now have a lovely little Movember Mo to show for my efforts. The only real downside was that it was well into December by the time it got finished.

Four Quick Fire-Firsts and my Movember Mo...

This week I have mostly been contemplating the fact that this Friday would be Nathan’s 21st birthday. I know I have a lot to say, but I’m not sure that I feel like writing it at this very minute.

I also know I have a tendency to waffle when it comes to writing (who am I kidding, and speaking too). And we have something of a first backlog on our hands here. So, I give you four firsts, each described in less than 50 words…

Give away a book with an inspirational quote written inside

Ali Smith's Boy Meets Girl on its way to Norwich

Left a book that uses Blind Date’s Cilla Black as a metaphor for interchangeability of gender roles on a train to Norwich. The quote came from Dr Suess. No idea whether anybody picked it up, but I like to believe it’s making someone happy!


Spend a day somewhere new in the UK 

The (blurry) pier of Brighton lit up at night

Took Glenn to Brighton for his birthday (completely selfless act). Loved the independent shops in the Lanes, loved the free deckchair use on the pier, loved the pebbled beach and the bars’ laid-back atmosphere. Did not love the pressure to buy an engagement ring or the price of cockles.


Try a new sport 

Perhaps looking the other way would
have helped with my technique....

Went to a driving range (the waffle potential here about whether this counts as a sport is endless - good job I am limited). Provided quite a few comic moments for my fellow golfers but was surprisingly good by the end (i.e. the ball actually left the floor). Top Golf fun is highly recommended…. 

My high score of.... 42!

Eat sushi off of a conveyor belt

Overpriced novelty, but I still love sushi. That is all you need to know.

If you’re looking for any other details, you will just have to ask!



Now, onto a first in the making…

I thought November would be a good time to start learning how to knit and to complete my first of knitting something; Christmas gifts are usually cheaper homemade. So I downloaded a few books for knitting for dummies onto my Kindle, including one called Manly Knits. Inside, I found this little gem of a knitting pattern…

Now, November is also a good time to grow a moustache and take part in a campaign to raise awareness of issues that affect men. While I would struggle to take part in Movember in the traditional way (do not even jokingly suggest otherwise, please), I thought I would hijack the Movember campaign as part of my efforts to raise awareness of another issue that affects thousands of men (and their families and friends) every single month.

So far, I have just about learnt to cast on, knit, purl and bind off. I will keep you all updated on my Movember Mo as it starts coming along… 

A few firsts I snuck in while your backs were all turned...

I was going to start this post with the phrase "I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last updated my blog." But, actually, I can. When I read back on diaries I tried to keep in the past almost every other entry starts with "I can't believe it's so long since I last wrote in here...". So, in an unofficial first, this time I will believe. But not writing does not mean I have not been completing my firsts. In the next few days, I will update you on all the things I've been too busy getting on with to actually write about...

Start a Career

Ok, so the prep work has been going on for years now (along with a bit of reckless travelling and occasional binge drinking) but within the last month I have finally landed myself a job that I believe I want to continue working within for the rest of my working career. Maybe not this exact job forever, but within this line of work, with this kind of company.

The only result when you search 'Career Woman'
on Wiki Commons...  a charicature by Honoré Daumier... nice.

And I kind of landed into it by accident (well, let’s say by making my own luck.) 

Cook dinner for my family for one whole week

As you may have noticed, the Hat has been made somewhat redundant for the past few weeks, as opportunities for firsts keep creeping up on me.

Getting ready to move for a new job has meant a couple of other ideas that were already in the Hat have become necessary (or at least much easier) to complete before their time of being picked out.

For example, I don’t think my family would have appreciated me cooking for them quite so much if they had to wait for me to drive the 60-odd miles to Ipswich every night after work before I even turned on the oven. Obviously, I would have had no problem at all with this, but, you know, I’m just selfless, always thinking of others, and we can’t all be like that.

So last week I dusted off my cook books and decided it was time I earned my keep. 

Hard at work

10 things I learnt from this year's major sporting event.

Just in case you missed it, London hosted some sporting event this summer that was apparently a pretty big deal. Thank you, Government, taxpayers and private sector investors for spending billions to give me the opportunity to complete a first of attending a major sporting event. 

Something to do with this?

Those who know me are unlikely to describe me as sporty. And, as for watching it, I rarely see the point. I get bored before the half time whistle blows on any football match (why can’t they just decide the whole thing on penalties and do away with the other 90-odd minutes?).

But I really got into the Olympic and Paralympic games. And it didn’t even take much effort (on my part. Probably not so true of the athletes). So I was very glad that boyfriend Glenn talked me into buying tickets for the last evening of events of London 2012.

So, in an attempt to be succinct, and not to gush and waffle on about how brilliant it all was, here is my list of 10 things I have personally learnt from London 2012.

1. I can feel patriotic at times. Despite all my past ramblings on how patriotism is based on a completely arbitrary factor of the country you are born in, sometimes I do feel proud to live in this country. And it was not just seeing the success of the athletes that made me feel a twinge. But the Best of British soundtrack to the opening ceremony almost bought a tear to my eye. (See around 1hr 4mins and 30 secs for the start of the medley) 

2. The Paralympics classification system is not as complicated as it first seems. Especially when you have a mum who can explain it all to you. 

3. I really want to get fit. Watching the athletes achieve amazing feats with their super fit bodies was truly inspirational (and not quite as pervy on my part as that makes it sound). I am more envious of Jennifer Ennis’ washboard stomach than of any ridiculous fashion advert model such as this one from Kookai. (However, possessing the desire to get fit and actually making an effort to do it are two very different states of mind. I don’t think my lunchtime Zumba session is quite enough to turn me into an Olympic standard athlete.) 

4. I am terrible at doing ‘The Bolt’ (thought I would put this up here before you did, Glenn). 

There was a second attempt, but, to be honest, it wasn't much better!
 

5. Events on a national scale encourage a sense of camaraderie and get people in London to actually talk to each other. Even on the tube. The one resounding memory I will take from going to watch the Paralympic was the general atmosphere and sense of cheeriness. A few weeks after the games and this kind of talk already seems twee and ridiculous. But, for a few brief weeks Brits dropped their natural cynicism and it was actually like that. 

6. Boris dances in exactly the way you would imagine him to. 

7. Some moments can be draw droppingly amazing to watch, such as this, and this. 

8. That most national anthems sound pretty much the same. But it’s a shame Italy didn’t win more gold medals because theirs is much more jaunty. 

9. Ministers who attend national sporting events give the general population a unique opportunity to tell them exactly how they feel about their policies. 

10. I can get wrapped up in and enjoy sporting events. Obviously, when you’re sitting in a stadium with 80,000 other people who are all cheering along the athletes just a few hundred metres in front of you it is easy to get taken in by it all. But long before I actually made it to the Olympic Park I found myself screaming at the athletes on screen and jumping up and down when Team GB won gold. Something I have never really found myself doing in the past.

All for me

So, in conclusion, I’m pretty sure the Olympic Games were held in London especially for my benefit (well, and maybe for the benefit of other people like me. People who aren’t really that into sport, but have been inspired to take a little bit more of an interest in it by the general brilliance of the Games. And people who like striking up random conversations on the tube without being branded a psycho).

Visit a new country

What springs to mind when you think of Amsterdam? Coffee shops and cannabis? The red light district? Or perhaps tulips and canals? For me, the one thing that jumps out as the defining feature of the trip there is the people.

I could tell you all about sitting on a beach with Darth Vader, an astronaut and the Dutch Prime Minister (actual reality, not any drug induced hallucinations).* But obviously I know you would much rather me ramble on about how nice people are.

Get out the way fellow tourists! I <3 amsterdam.
Thanks to my personal photographer Chloe for the pics

World Suicide Prevention Day

From The CALMzone 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I have been out all day but I didn't want to let it pass without a mention on here. 

Suicide always seems to me like such a difficult thing to try and prevent. There is rarely only one cause. But the International Association for Suicide Prevention is doing all it can to try and help us to better understand what can be done to stop it from happening.

Ultimately, there is only ever one person who can really prevent a suicide and that is the person considering it. But, if this is you, you can get help from others. You may be the one making that final decision, but there are many people around you who want to help. Call the Samaritans. Go and tell your family. Visit the doctor. Talk to a friend. Get medication or get your current medication reviewed. Ask to switch counsellors. Speak to CALM. Everybody has down times but you do not have to live with suicidal thoughts and the best solution does not involve acting on them. There is a way. There is always a way. 

***UPDATE***
According to this site, it is actually World Suicide Prevent Week. And after reading stories of some people on Twitter who have attempted suicide, I thought it would be good to share some on here - evidence that, even if things seem bad, it can and will get better. 

Reasons to Go On Living
Spun Out
Huffington Post
Waking Up Alive

+ lots more on Twitter