Writer's Block...

Well it’s been a while.

I’ve been finding it tough to keep motivated with the blog recently and I’ve been wondering why. There have been times where I could have sat down and penned an entry but I have just not felt up to it. Plus, I’ve got out of the habit of actually doing the Firsts.

Writer's Block?
By Pi Guy 31415 via Wiki Commons

There are a few reasons why I think I’ve been more reluctant to write...

Taboo... Why Aren't We Talking About Suicide?

I’ve been thinking about suicide as a taboo subject recently and I’ve been inspired to write some of my thoughts down because, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I need to write it! And what better day to do so, than the day that it comes to light that the number of suicides rose sharply last year?

Ok, I admit, the game Taboo is fun, but now let's get serious...

World Suicide Prevention Day

From The CALMzone 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I have been out all day but I didn't want to let it pass without a mention on here. 

Suicide always seems to me like such a difficult thing to try and prevent. There is rarely only one cause. But the International Association for Suicide Prevention is doing all it can to try and help us to better understand what can be done to stop it from happening.

Ultimately, there is only ever one person who can really prevent a suicide and that is the person considering it. But, if this is you, you can get help from others. You may be the one making that final decision, but there are many people around you who want to help. Call the Samaritans. Go and tell your family. Visit the doctor. Talk to a friend. Get medication or get your current medication reviewed. Ask to switch counsellors. Speak to CALM. Everybody has down times but you do not have to live with suicidal thoughts and the best solution does not involve acting on them. There is a way. There is always a way. 

***UPDATE***
According to this site, it is actually World Suicide Prevent Week. And after reading stories of some people on Twitter who have attempted suicide, I thought it would be good to share some on here - evidence that, even if things seem bad, it can and will get better. 

Reasons to Go On Living
Spun Out
Huffington Post
Waking Up Alive

+ lots more on Twitter

I don't know what to say.

I don’t know what to say.

Always the first reaction when someone knows that you’ve lost someone. And, all things considered, I don’t think it’s a bad reaction at all. But if you do want more of an idea of what I think you should say (because clearly I am an oracle of all death and bereavement now) read on.

First off, I want to point out that this post was inspired by the video below, which was part of the Jezebel’s ‘ask a mortician’ series. It also covers such gripping questions as ‘Can you tattoo a body after death?’ and ‘What happens to dead bodies in space?’.

I will admit that the biggest reason I like the video so much is because I think the woman is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met-but-not-actually-met on the internet. But she also has some interesting points as well as being super cool.


Obviously suicide come with its own set of issues that are sometimes different to other bereavements. I think if you loose somebody to suicide you worry that people may not be as sympathetic because of the element of choice involved. Luckily, I’ve found this has not been the case but it was something I was concerned about when my brother died.

In fact, in general, I have found that most people’s natural reactions are usually comforting and appropriate and I think that, on the whole, people worry about offending or saying the wrong thing far too much. But, in my experience, some people do come out with some corkers when looking for the right words to say in an uncomfortable situation. So if you want some advice on what I think then this is it:

The power of words

Personalised Scrabble Tiles available from MixtGoods

Death. Dead. Deceased.

Is or was? Were or are?

Committed suicide? Completed suicide? Took their own life?

One thing starting this has really made me consider it is the power of words and how we choose them.

Obviously I have experiences talking about what has happened before I started this blog. And talking about Nathan’s death does throw up some of the same issues as writing about it. A lot of advice I have read warns people from using the phrase ‘committed suicide’, suggesting that it still carries with it the criminal implications the act of suicide had in the past. Personally, I find this is the first phrase that comes to mind when using the word suicide and I often find using ‘completed suicide’ sounds awkward.

Gender and Suicide

The Guardian have been reporting on the rise of suicide among older men and it brings up a recurring theme that I have experienced when talking to people about suicide; gender. 

I have recently started attending a support group so that I have an environment where I am actively encouraged to consciously think and talk about what has happened. It is amazing how different everybody's stories are. Some people have similar experiences to me, where the suicide is extremely sudden and there appears to be very little in a way of warning. Others have lost people who have attempted to kill themselves several times. Some have lost children. Some have lost spouses. Some have lost siblings like me. Some lost youngsters, some of those who died were grandparents. Some people there are posher than others. But the people we have lost all have two things in common. Number one is that they have chosen to take their own lives. Number two is that they are all male.